How many times have you failed to reach a goal? If you're like me, about 27,000 times. I've always been ambitious, just not so great at the part where you actually do that thing you're dreaming of. And for YEARS I've beaten myself up because I wasn't "disciplined enough", "skilled enough", "thin enough", "smart enough", "focused enough", "brave enough" or "liked enough". Frankly, all of that was bull crap except for the "enough" part. I didn't accomplish my goals because I didn't believe that I was enough...NOT because I was truly lacking the right habits, skills and intelligence levels. I simply didn't believe in myself and my worth.
If you know me well and have been in my life for a long time then you've likely said to me at least once: "you're so hard on yourself". Yep, sure am. I'm brutal to myself at times because I like many, struggle with feelings of unworthiness. Why you ask? Honestly, I'm currently working that out in therapy but here's a few reasons I know for sure: having been an overweight kid, being one of just a few black kids in a mostly white town, and not having a Dad around 80% of the time. These circumstances kept me from feeling like I belonged. Just recognizing these things has helped me to become kinder to myself, but I've still got a long way to go. I've got brutally high standards and a habit for constantly seeking new challenges. This is both my superpower and my kryptonite. At least I'm now in the know so I can check myself before I wreck myself, again.
If you've got goals and you're struggling to get there, you've got to start with yourself. Get brutally honest about how you feel about YOU. If you don't believe that you can do what you want to do, or that you're worthy of receiving what you want, then you'll continuously self sabotage. Or, you may just settle and stop setting goals at all. And here's the deal, the more you self sabotage or fail to try, the more you'll feel unworthy and insecure. It's a vicious cycle! Trust me, I'm a retired pro at both. If nothing else, my 27,000 failed attempts have taught me that my relationship with myself is the most important relationship I'll ever have. Because if I'm not right with myself, then I can't do right by anyone else or dig deep to my "knowing" when obstacles arise.
Whether or not you believe it, you are worthy. You are worthy, you are worthy, you are worthy! Damn I wish someone had said that to me a long time ago, though I'm not sure I was ready to hear it. Don't you spend another minute questioning your worth. Know that you don't have to be anyone or anything other than who/what you are right now to begin working on your goals. Just start with practicing the belief that you're enough and keep your word to yourself...everything else will begin to fall into place.
Hear me friend: prioritizing self care, isn't just about how you look, your mental or physical health; it's about what you truly believe, at your core, to be true about yourself. Since it's just a belief, why not choose to believe that you're enough?
Thanks for reading,
There's a song for that: "Understand Your Worth", Fearless Motivation