Before you can learn to walk, you need to learn to stand. Annddd while learning to stand, you fall on your ass over and over again. Likely there's some epic face plants in there too. But you keep on trying because well, thats what people do. Unless you're born without the capability, it's a very natural process. Stand up, fall, stand up fall, stand up, take a step, fall... and over and over again until eventually you're walking. So, we start our lives off with grit and determination but often forget we have it when life comes at us. I'm here to tell you that you're still just as capable now as you were when you were an itty bitty baby.
Here's the deal, when you set lofty goals you'll have some setbacks along the way, It's GUARANTEED. And much like learning to walk, your job is to persist. These setbacks don't need to keep you on your ass, figuratively speaking. They're an opportunity to create a more solid foundation, to ignite that grit and determination that's already in you. The setbacks are opportunities for reflection, adaptation, and ultimately growth. Think of the times you've failed, then been like "ah f it, I'm not _____ enough to do this" and promptly given up on whatever goal you'd set. Do you know how many times in the past I would lie in bed at night and think "ok, tomorrow I'm going to start a diet", only to completely forget the next morning? (Literally, too many times to count.) Half way through the day I would remember, (probably while I was eating some greasy takeout), think about how much of a loser I was and then either eat or drink away the feelings as soon as possible. Sound familiar? The ole, "well I already blew it so I may as well..." it's a form of self abuse and it's a habit you should stop right now. You are better than that.
When you get off track, it's ok. You don't need to beat yourself up or completely lose all of your will to thrive. Instead, you can acknowledge the setback and continue moving forward. Here's another handy dandy analogy for you: think about a long road trip... you get off the highway at rest stops, do what you gotta do and then get back on the highway. No biggie. Reframe your missteps this same way. You stopped for a minute, but you recognize that in order to get to where you're going, you have to get back on the road. So, refocus and get back to it!
Something that's important to acknowledge in all of this, is that there's also a solid chance you aren't the person you need to be to live out your dreams. If you haven't gotten used to me saying this then it might sound a bit harsh. But I'm going to say it again in another way: you might not be good enough to achieve your goals.
YET. Notice I didn't say worthy. You are 1000% worthy of achieving your goals. But, just think about it this way...if you were already that person, you would be living in alignment with your passion and purpose! But the reality is, you don't have the beliefs, skills or habits YET. There are demons that you need to face, people you need to let go of, and discipline that needs to be cultivated. The good news is, that you can do all of this with consistency and all that grit n determination you were born with. And, to be clear, by consistency I mean consistently putting your ass on the line, falling flat on your face and getting up. THIS IS THE PROCESS... you literally have to fail forward!
So, to help you "get back on the road" after a lil pitstop, here are some things you can do.
When you encounter a setback:
🔹Give yourself no more than 1 day to feel sorry for yourself.
🔹Talk to a mentor who will inspire you to move forward.
🔹Avoid worry warts and naysayers.
🔹Ask yourself: what can I learn from this?
🔹Realign with your goals and purpose.
🔹Create a new plan.
🔹Try, try again
Don't let the fear of failure keep you from pursuing your dreams!!! Learn to embrace your failures as necessary steps to become the best version of yourself and just keep on failing forward my friend.
Thank you for reading,
There's a song for that: "Dust Yourself Off", Aaliyah (RIP)