Updated: Jan 8
It's quite baffling to me how much time is spent doing things that induce misery. We choose college majors that we don't want, jobs we hate, hang out with people that use and abuse us and create habits that further perpetuate our unhappiness. The truly interesting thing is that about 95% of people will die having spent their life in this way; never having lived on their own terms. I really think that most people don't know there's an alternative. Like working at a dead end job that sucks your soul is viewed as "being an adult". Or perhaps we're all just too scared to challenge the status quo because we're consumed with "what will everyone think?"
I was once trapped in this cycle of trying to please and impress everyone but myself. It took me SEVEN years to get a bachelors degree because I was so overwhelmed with what my family wanted me to do. My college career consisted of two universities and 5 majors, semester long breaks and 200 hours of cosmetology school! I went through cycles of being super determined to make whatever major I was told to do work and then partying my face off to numb the pain of living inauthentically. I was a h.o.t. mess. I've had many similar cycles up until the last 6 years when I decided to change. I realized that I couldn't t be the mother that I wanted to be if I didn't figure my stuff out. And over the last few years it's turned into me wanting to the best ME I can be in all facets of my life. To be clear, I'm nowhere perfect and never will be. But for once in my life I am making decisions that align with who I want to be and how I want to feel.
At this point in my life I'm only interested in spending time with people who make me feel loved and supported, who expand my knowledge or beliefs, and who are also committed to working on themselves. Additionally, I'm only interested in spending my time doing things that inspire and motivate me, challenge me mentally or physically, expand my knowledge base, serve others, rejuvenate me and most importantly, align with my values. I'm learning to simply refuse people and actions that go against my physical/mental well being or values. This is my life and I'm on a mission to claim it.
I'm sure you're thinking something like "good for you Kellie" or maybe "go fly a kite." But honestly, you can make this decision too. No matter where you're at in your life, you can choose to do things differently. Yes, there are obligations and limitations, but you can create boundaries in your life that will allow you to live life on your terms regardless. There are free resources all over the internet and at your local library; use them. There are people in your life who have the tools you need to pursue your goals; ask for help. Instead of making excuses, think about all of the reasons why you can and should do the work to make your dreams a reality. Accept that it takes time to understand who you are and how you want to live. Be grateful! Practicing gratitude daily might be the single most important thing you can change now. It allows you to experience more happiness and presence in your every day life.
Claim your life.
There's a Song for That: "It's My Life", Bon Jovi
With Peace and Love,